Going to a Wedding soon? Here are 5 steps and the Do's and Don'ts for what to wear/buy. I have a wedding to go to and have been doing my research. ;-D

Wedding Guest Attire; Just what do I wear?

Okay, we cannot all be this dashing.

What to Wear to a Wedding:

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about what to wear to a wedding that she was planning on going to. Good questions arose about whether a beach-type dress, a cocktail dress, or the basic black dress were appropriate.

No, ...and...

No. Sequins are not a good idea. ;-)

A good idea.

I am also going to a wedding in June and I want to wear appropriate attire for it. I have been searching online for dresses.

You want to be able to have fun!

Steps to keep in mind when deciding what to wear:

1. Make it easy. I simply typed into Google "wedding guest dresses" and many options popped up for me to look through. That is an excellent place to start shopping; you can view what fashion choices are out there before you even step foot out to your local mall.

Hum... I think I may be settling on: http://www.newyorkdress.com/Wedding_Guest_Dresses.html to order my dress, but I have not committed to anything yet. This site just seems to have a great selection.

Hum... If you are young and want to be on the edge of fashion, http://www.ageoftaurus.com/ has some very awesome dresses; I especially liked the Lotus dress.

Elegant wedding.

2. First things first:

What does the invitation specify? Is it formal or semi-formal? You need to know details like gown to the floor or mid-length, Indoor or outdoor and even hats or no hats?

Fun, colorful and light Wedding. Find out the mood the couple wants to have for the occasion.

3. Make sure that whatever you buy makes you feel amazing!

These girls look lovely. ;-)

You want to feel gorgeous, so you can be self-confident enough to be able to have a really great time at the wedding! If you choose something only because it is on sale, regardless of how it fits you; you will not feel as secure.

Grab a chair and enjoy yourself!

4. What you wear,or more importantly, how you feel in what you wear, may affect how much fun you have. This is especially true if it is not necessarily your friends, or if you will be introduced to people that you do not know that well.

5. Here are some guidelines that will help to figure out how to stay in-line with etiquette and feel comfortable in whatever you wear:

Wedding Guest Style for Her

·         Informal Daytime: Short dress or suit (business attire OK for morning weddings)

·         Informal Evening: Cocktail dress

·         Semi-Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit

·         Semi-formal Evening: Cocktail dress

·         Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit. Hats and gloves optional; although, if it is an outdoor wedding,or an outdoor dinner, consider a hat to shade the sun.

·         Formal Evening or Black-Tie: Long or dressy short cocktail (beading, glam accessories, wrap)

·         Ultra-formal or White Tie: Long gown, extra glitz (furs, diamonds, etc.)

Do's and Don'ts for Her

The yellow dress is a bit wrinkly, and, well No.

·         Don't wear white because it competes with the bride. There are plenty of other colors available.

·         Don't wear black or sequins during the daytime.

·         Don't worry about wearing the same colors as the bridesmaids or mothers. You can't possibly coordinate with everyone in the wedding party.

·         Do wear something feminine and appropriate, out of respect for your hosts. Club wear, overtly sexy clothing (strapless, see-through, etc.) doesn't belong at a wedding. If you have to ask if it's appropriate, it probably isn't.

This is a No. Save for a night out to a club.

·         Don't wear opera-length gloves (to top of arm) with anything but sleeveless or strapless gowns.

·         Do take off gloves to eat or drink.

·         Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn't specify the formality of the event.

No, I'd rethink this hat. It is wearing her.

        A pastel suit or soft floral dress for daytime or a little black dress for evening (after 6 p.m.) will take you almost anywhere.

I just love these caketoppers, note the diversity in the couples, hee...

Wedding Style for Him

·         Informal Daytime: Dress shirt and pants, preferably a sports jacket.

·         Informal Evening: Suit

·         Semi-Formal Daytime: Suit

·         Semi-Formal Evening: Dark suit

·         Formal Daytime: Dark suit and tie

·         Formal Evening: Tuxedo (if invitation states "black tie") or dark suits if women wear short dresses.

·         Ultra-formal Evening or White Tie: White tie, vest and shirt with your tuxedo.

Do's and Don'ts for Him

·         Don't try to get cute with a tuxedo. A black tux with white shirt and black bow tie is the best way to go. If "Creative Black Tie" or "Texas Formal" or some sort of other vague formal description is used, then going with a tux and black shirt, no tie, might be acceptable. Also, trendier cities like Los Angeles and New York might be more accepting of breaking with tradition.

·         Do wear a dark suit, with a tie if the wedding is after 6 PM, and doesn't say "Black Tie."

·         Don't wear a tuxedo during the day time, regardless of the formality of the event.

·         Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn't specify the formality of the event. A dark suit and conservative tie will take you just about anywhere.

Happy Weddings! ;-D

Five Tips to Deal w Emotional Leeches: Psychology

An emotional leech:  The biggest source of energy drain in people is their relationships. Emotional leeches are people who can drain your energy and suck you dry.

They are people who make your mood take a nose-dive, who you feel sick or tired around.

Basically, it’s a person who changes your mood for the worse just by being around.

What are the five types of leeches: 

disclaimer: picture from happiness reflector.

Narcissistic, Victim, Controller, Constant talker, and Drama Queen –- the victim is the most common. That is the friend that you have who complains about everything, nothing is her fault, but she never seems to do anything about how miserable she is. 

She is exhausting, so you start to avoid her phone calls after a while. You feel you can say nothing about it, because you’re afraid of being seen as impolite.  A lot of people don’t speak up for themselves because they are afraid of offending someone.

Here are five strategies of how to lovingly and with

 sensitivity deal with people like this:

Tip number one:

You have to notice how your energy is when you’re around the person. If you’re on a date and everything seems to be going great, but you notice that you’re exhausted, there is a problem.

Tip number two:

 Know yourself and think of your top five buttons. The top five things that set you off: Things like guilt trips, petty criticisms and anger. Everyone has buttons, emotional leeches happen to be able to see these buttons more than other people, and they will push them. Once you know what sets you off, it can help you take the emotionality out of dealing with them. That is key; it may take a while for you to be calm enough to respond, but at least you will know when to go and calm yourself.

 Tip number three:

 Your tone of voice is critical when talking to an emotional leech. You have to talk in a very matter-of-fact or compassionate manner, rather than trying to deal with them the way they are talking to you. You don’t want to turn them off, because you have a goal: you want to change their

behavior. You have to stick to that goal. If you take the

bait and get emotional, then nothing will change.

Tip number four:

 Use the technique of limiting the setting, calmly tell the person who criticizes you that they hurt your feelings and you would appreciate it if they did not do it again. Get in and get out quickly, with a smile. You do not want a dialogue. For a boss who is narcissistic, frame the things you want in terms of what they are going to get out of it.

Tip number five:

Use the tool of body language, along with the matter of fact tone and satisfy the self-interest question of “what is in it for me.” For a drama queen coworker, do not ask how she is
doing. Use not interested body language. Turning away from them, crossing your arms, and calmly explain that you have work to do. It takes practice, but it’s definitely worth it.   If you want a raise or a vacation, word it in a way that shows a benefit to the company, like, “Rather than work in an exhausted state and potentially make a mistake, it will benefit the company if I take time off, so that I can return with a fully charged battery”. That will get them to see their own self-interest in your request, rather than, “I’m exhausted and I need more money and time off.”